terrible horrible no good very bad day.

So I find out this morning that Margie died yesterday. I find out later this morning that Josh's grandpa died today.... 10:15.

Today sucks.

It sucks being in AZ and not being able to do ANYTHING! we can't be with family, *ARGH*

I don't know whether to be sad or pissed.

I wish I could say there was a silver lining.

Today sucks. 

oh man

so much has happened between my last post and now, but i really just need to get some feelings out. 

For some reason today I have been feeling like a failure. Like I am no good at my job, like I am lazy. I don't really know why all of this is happening. I feel like I am not a good therapist. I feel like I am letting my kiddos down. I don't even know how to really express this all. It is a very weird feeling, and I don't like it. Maybe I am just in need of an overhaul. Maybe I need to plan some extravagant therapy sessions for something different. I just don't know what my deal is, and it is making me very sad.

*sigh*

weird feelings...

So this is the place to let it all out, right?? .... well here goes. 

josh works with this guy. this guy is going through a divorce. this guy needs a place to stay. that place happens to be with us. this guy came to look at the place tonight. i am not so sure about this guy. he is very nice. however..... he is going to rearrange that guest room. how long is he staying? no idea. what will he give us towards rent? no idea. he has 2 children... 2 & 4 don't get me wrong, i love kids, but.. .they're not mine. i can't discipline them. what if they screw up MY stuff? he has a cat. he has already told me his cat claws the sh*! out of his furniture. he smokes. this causes josh to smoke MORE. oh did i mention that he has a boat? that he wants to put in the garage... which means that josh will have to park on the street and PAY for a parking spot. i refuse to park on the street. this is MY garage. i am just nervous. 

what do i do? what do i say? i don't want him taking over my house, and my life, and my boyfriend. 

suggestions welcome. and thanks for getting this far.

Meet Snickers

So I was tired of not having a pet. Let me tell you. I have never really been a cat person. Well, a puppy in a place I am not supposed to have pets may be a little difficult to hide.  However, a cat on the other hand is a little bit easier. If she claws furniture, it's my furniture. So this family that I see is not only a foster home for children, but also for cats. They have lots of kittens and were always asking me if I wanted one. I broke down and said I would take one and try it out. So I picked this cute little gray one with a brown patch on her face. She is very fun. She is affectionate. She provides me with hours of laughter. But I think she is lonely. Today when I go back to see the family, I will see if they have any of her siblings left. Then she will have someone to play with during the days when we are at work. 

Hello Snickers, and welcome to our little family! :)

wiiiiiiiii

wahoo. we have wii. it is fun to play. and it is a good workout. i would advise everyone to have and play regularly a wii. ok, no more writing, time to play wii. 

wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii :)

sunday.

today's going to be good. it's sunday. neither of us has to work, and we're going to play with ruben, stacy, and dakota (among others). we are going to eat, drink, eat some more, drink some more.... and be merry! 

that's all, must go make dessert! mmmmmm.......... :)

work

so i am up to 36 kiddos, and am super super excited about it. :-D i truly can say that i love my job. today i saw a child that essentially has no chance of ever being independent and will live at home for the rest of his life. however, every week i go and i work with him, and every week i see little to no progress, but every week this child works his little butt off. and he likes to play. and he smiles. what i wouldn't do for a smile. it's the little things. 

i love my job.