Life in the Fast Lane

sigh

2010-06-23T19:45:00.002-07:00

It's been over a week since Gramma died. I miss her, I feel it as if it just happened yesterday. I am back in AZ as of today and back to work tomorrow. I already feel like I shouldn't be here... more than usual. I feel like I don't have anyone. I miss my support group, I don't like being so far from my family! *sigh* This sucks!

the call

2010-06-12T10:52:00.004-07:00

i got the call today. i need to come home and see gramma. i'm going on friday (ish). she is now at zilber. i know she's miserable and just wants to be done. but i hurt. i can't imagine my life without her. i can't imagine her not on the other end of the phone. i can't even begin to think about her not being here to tell about all the big... and little things that go on in my life every day. i am sad. i am hurting. i have nowhere to turn. i feel so helpless, so alone.

hanging by a thread

2010-05-22T09:13:00.002-07:00

here in az. wishing i were in wi. gramma is not well. i want to be there for her. i want to be there for mom. for uncle thom. for my cousins. this sucks. i hate feeling helpless. not that i could change anything, but at least i could BE there for her. i could hang out. watch movies. eat ice cream. not be missing so much. *sigh*

i love my grandma so much.

MKE

2010-05-10T15:50:00.002-07:00

Dear Friends~

Today is Monday May 10. I am leaving MKE back to PHX. I am not happy. I would like to stay loooooonger. How about forever? *sigh* Soon enough I guess. Thanks for being good to me MKE!

Later~

Jess

Day 2

2010-04-28T19:33:00.002-07:00

So i went to this pre conference institute class today. i sure am glad i did because it was pretty much AWESOME! the presenter was really good, and i learned a LOT. my brain really needed some nourishment, and what a way to start it!

tomorrow begins the full conference... i think i am going to about 4 different classes/presentations tomorrow... and then..... MAGIC KINGDOM!!!! i have never been, and i am absolutely ecstatic to go!

i'm sure there will be updating tomorrow. i am planning on having a GREAT time!

thanks for reading. hope everyone's week is going well!

Orlando Day 1

2010-04-27T21:17:00.001-07:00

I made it to FL!

MY hotel is... well... a hotel. not stellar by any means, but it will suffice to sleep and take care of daily business.

went to downtown disney this evening and had a wonderful dinner for 1 at planet hollywood. i didn't even mind at all. it was pleasant, me and my thoughts. just able to take it all in.

tomorrow is a little lounging by the pool... and then begins the brain food. i can't wait. if this year's conference is anything like last year, it's going to be a good week.

hasta la pasta! :)

2 good things

2010-04-23T09:01:00.002-07:00

2 good things in 2 days. whose life am i living?? :)

I GOT A PROMOTION!!! ~ this means i am transferring to the hospital that is only 25 minutes from my house. and i get to be in a leadership position. hooray!

NORMAL RESULTS!! ~ my last pap had no high grade lesions!!! that means the surgery i had in december worked! hooray!

i am leaving for orlando on tuesday! it's time for AOTA national convention.... and DISNEY!!!! hooray!

i come back from FL, work for 3 days, leave for WI!

i work 15 days, then assume my new position at the Mesa hospital.

life is on the upswing!!!! hooray!

It's April.

2010-04-18T13:30:00.002-07:00

I still fail at updating! What has happened lately? I hosted Easter at my house complete with schnitzel beans and home made garlic mashed potatoes. Mom and Dank came Tuesday after Easter. (the first time Dank had ever seen AZ... and my house!) It was an amazing visit, though much too short and I sure didn't want them to leave come Saturday. I am still working... and looking forward to my trip to Orlando in 2 weeks... and then to WI in 3 weeks. Being in AZ has lost its appeal, lost its excitement. The thing I am most looking forward to now is finding a job back in the milwaukee area, selling my house, and moving home! *sigh*

that's what's going on here in the hot hot arizona.

where has the time gone?

2010-02-19T19:21:00.002-07:00

Hello blogger friends. I am not sure if anyone still reads this since I am no good at updating. But here's an update....

I am still living in AZ. I am still loving my house. Jackson is growing, and he is funny! He keeps me going on those "missing home" days. He keeps me smiling. Kit Kat and Snickers are still around and loving as ever.

I am still working at HealthSouth doing inpatient rehab. It's ok. I like my job, I am not so sure I like the place. But then again, that's how it goes at all jobs.

I'm stuck here in AZ until May of 2011 at the earliest (when my contract is up) and at that time I am hoping that I can sell my house and make the move back to the Midwest and my family!

I'll try to keep a little more updated.... no promises.

AOTA... day 2

2009-04-24T19:20:00.002-07:00

Day 2:

Overslept and missed the first workshop I wanted to attend. damn.

Made it to 4 other *very* interesting presentations. Was glad I took some chances.

Visited the expo again. Talked with Kari and Jane. Bought a new brain book. (What color is YOUR brain?) Received *more* free stuff. Got my badge scanned in hopes of winning other *free* stuff.

Got flowers delivered to my house. Thank you HealthSouth.

Decided to hit the Astros/Brewer game tomorrow evening. 3 blocks from my hotel.

Ordered pizza... and cheese sticks.... and cookies. Now am very full.

Have big plans tomorrow. 5 different classes.

Did I mention that the Creating Keepsakes scrapbook convention is in the same convention center that AOTA is? Yeah. I am going to hit that up tomorrow.

Flying home on Sunday morning.

houston.... day 1

2009-04-23T13:54:00.003-07:00

so i made it late last night. my hotel is pretty cool... i have met some neat fellow OTs...i have learned some new interesting things... i have made some tough decisions... i am tired.

off to get ready for the expo grand opening. woot!

EASTER!!

2009-04-12T07:50:00.002-07:00

No matter what state you live in.... church services starts the same at a Lutheran church..... "Jesus Christ is risen to-daaay a-a-a-a-le-luuuuu-ia" :) i love that song!

It's Easter. I'm in AZ. My family will be eating HAMLOAF and schnitzel beans. I will not. (well, i'm going to attempt to make the beans) I won't be hunting with my cousins. I won't be hunting with my parents (though i'm not sure what they will hunt for... mom sent me all the plastic eggs!). I won't get to see the Mullers, or PK, or dad and Lois, or Matt and Kelly, I sure do miss my church family.

i am going to try to make Easter dinner. Maybe our friends with the kiddos will stop by.... they can search for eggs :)

off to finish dying the easter eggs.

HAPPY EASTER TO ALL!! :-D

and so it goes

2009-04-07T20:43:00.002-07:00

Well vacation is over. Back to work. It was WONDERFUL to have Breanne and Kiley and Kevin here. We had fun! It was awesome to have someone come visit.... and see my house, and doooo stuff with! :) We went to spring training (and got autographs.... lots of them at that), swimming... (it was cold) Alpha Xi Delta function (interesting), hung out and RELAXED (and watched disney along with some girlie movies... and cried) and went to the ZOO!! It was a wonderful time, and I was uber sad to see them go.

what?!

2009-04-01T02:12:00.002-07:00

Yeah, that's what I asked myself when I woke up at 145 IN THE MORNING and couldn't go back to sleep. (you can blame that on my left ear that is screaming at me) What does one do at 145 in the morning? well the answer is.... GO BACK TO SLEEP!!! clearly that was not an option for me as it is now 216 in the morning and I am still awake. I am going to clean out my car, and then fax in my paperwork to work, and maybe NAP? i do have to pick up Breanne and Kiley tomorrow at the airport at about 915, and then it's to the Brewer's spring training. It's going to be a busy day, I am sick, and I NEED TO SLEEP. but since that is not an option right now, I might as well be productive. *sheesh*

p.s.

2009-03-03T22:29:00.003-07:00

i don't think i ever introduced kit kat to all you readers out there.... she is our second cat that we got about a week after getting snickers. i told you things have been hectic. now we have 2 kitties and a puppy, not to mention the birds i am attempting to lure to my back yard with yummy seed... :)

Snickers.... the first kitty i ever owned. doesn't she have pretty eyes? :)

Kit Kat when we first brought her home, she is much bigger now.... and really skinny with looong legs.

see previous blog for pictures of jackson.

no good, just no good

2009-03-03T22:16:00.003-07:00

There are currently 875 emotions going on in my life.

a. there are massive budget cuts going on here in the state of AZ. I took a pay cut (at least I still have a job!!!) and i am also losing about 12 kiddos. if you ask me, they are double dipping into my (and every other therapist's) livlihood.

2. i am behind on paperwork. i'm not really sure how that happened... well i guess i do know, i have been tired lately and bed just sounds so much better than work and then it comes down to the wire, and the paper part is just not finished. *sigh* i need to suck it up and just FINISH!

d. it's official. breanne, kiley, and kevin are COMING TO VISIT!

!! i feel like it could be april first right NOW. i miss them TERRIBLY and i absolutely am counting the days until they are here!

4. jackson is adorable and is keeping me busy (see #2) we play, and attempt to go for walks (he's not very good with his leash yet), i'm trying to teach him that the best place to go potty is outside! he is pretty darn cute though:

5. i miss martin luther. (not the person, my church) i miss singing in cantare. and i certainly miss my friends and family. i think easter may be a little tough.

6. i'm going to houston, tx in april for my national AOTA convention. i think it will be a nice get a way... and a chance to learn new things and make myself a better OT. vegas is may for bowling nationals, and i am looking forward to spending (vacation) time with josh, and his family.

alright, once again procrastination and the desire to sleep have overtaken the necessity for paperwork. goodnight friends!

terrible horrible no good very bad day.

2009-01-30T11:28:00.002-07:00

So I find out this morning that Margie died yesterday. I find out later this morning that Josh's grandpa died today.... 10:15.

Today sucks.

It sucks being in AZ and not being able to do ANYTHING! we can't be with family, *ARGH*

I don't know whether to be sad or pissed.

I wish I could say there was a silver lining.

Today sucks.

oh man

2009-01-27T17:04:00.003-07:00

so much has happened between my last post and now, but i really just need to get some feelings out.

For some reason today I have been feeling like a failure. Like I am no good at my job, like I am lazy. I don't really know why all of this is happening. I feel like I am not a good therapist. I feel like I am letting my kiddos down. I don't even know how to really express this all. It is a very weird feeling, and I don't like it. Maybe I am just in need of an overhaul. Maybe I need to plan some extravagant therapy sessions for something different. I just don't know what my deal is, and it is making me very sad.

*sigh*

weird feelings...

2008-10-23T21:34:00.000-07:00

So this is the place to let it all out, right?? .... well here goes.

josh works with this guy. this guy is going through a divorce. this guy needs a place to stay. that place happens to be with us. this guy came to look at the place tonight. i am not so sure about this guy. he is very nice. however..... he is going to rearrange that guest room. how long is he staying? no idea. what will he give us towards rent? no idea. he has 2 children... 2 & 4 don't get me wrong, i love kids, but.. .they're not mine. i can't discipline them. what if they screw up MY stuff? he has a cat. he has already told me his cat claws the sh*! out of his furniture. he smokes. this causes josh to smoke MORE. oh did i mention that he has a boat? that he wants to put in the garage... which means that josh will have to park on the street and PAY for a parking spot. i refuse to park on the street. this is MY garage. i am just nervous.

what do i do? what do i say? i don't want him taking over my house, and my life, and my boyfriend.

suggestions welcome. and thanks for getting this far.

Meet Snickers

2008-10-09T09:22:00.000-07:00

So I was tired of not having a pet. Let me tell you. I have never really been a cat person. Well, a puppy in a place I am not supposed to have pets may be a little difficult to hide. However, a cat on the other hand is a little bit easier. If she claws furniture, it's my furniture. So this family that I see is not only a foster home for children, but also for cats. They have lots of kittens and were always asking me if I wanted one. I broke down and said I would take one and try it out. So I picked this cute little gray one with a brown patch on her face. She is very fun. She is affectionate. She provides me with hours of laughter. But I think she is lonely. Today when I go back to see the family, I will see if they have any of her siblings left. Then she will have someone to play with during the days when we are at work.

Hello Snickers, and welcome to our little family! :)

wiiiiiiiii

2008-09-22T19:33:00.000-07:00

wahoo. we have wii. it is fun to play. and it is a good workout. i would advise everyone to have and play regularly a wii. ok, no more writing, time to play wii.

wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii :)

sunday.

2008-09-21T09:03:00.000-07:00

today's going to be good. it's sunday. neither of us has to work, and we're going to play with ruben, stacy, and dakota (among others). we are going to eat, drink, eat some more, drink some more.... and be merry!

that's all, must go make dessert! mmmmmm.......... :)

work

2008-09-18T22:16:00.000-07:00

so i am up to 36 kiddos, and am super super excited about it. :-D i truly can say that i love my job. today i saw a child that essentially has no chance of ever being independent and will live at home for the rest of his life. however, every week i go and i work with him, and every week i see little to no progress, but every week this child works his little butt off. and he likes to play. and he smiles. what i wouldn't do for a smile. it's the little things.

i love my job.

HELLO!!!

2008-09-11T20:34:00.000-07:00

so i have transitioned to the world of blogger from livejournal. life is moving along.... quickly. i have 31 kiddos at the moment with a potential for 47 (now, i don't know if they will actually give me that many, but i have the spots for them) once i hit 40 kids, i think i will no longer be working at the buckle! (i can't wait to have my weekends back!)

we have been hanging out with ruben, stacy, and dakota. i like it. they are fun, and dakota is adorable. in case you didn't know.. i love children, photography, scrapbooking, knitting, jewelry making, and just about any crafty thing. (watch for future blogs showcasing the photos!)

well. just wanted to introduce myself and say hello to all. hope you enjoy following my life in the fast lane! :)